NYC VISITOR NOTICEREAD BEFORE ARRIVAL

TRAVEL
ADVISORY

This film contains non-sexual nudity, strong language, public transportation, aviation problems, poor life decisions, violence against deadbeat muppets, and one bird with absolutely no respect for personal boundaries.

By continuing, you confirm that you’re comfortable viewing that kind of content.

JAKE’S AWFUL DAYS / NYC EDITIONYou’ve been warned.
JAKE’S AWFUL DAYSNYC EDITIONWATCH THE FILM

SAME JAKE.
DIFFERENT DISASTERS.
BIGGER CITY.

Jake in a striped beanie faces the New York skyline, as a yellow taxi passes

JAKE’SAWFUL DAYS

NYC EDITION

The city that never sleeps.
Unfortunately, neither did Jake.

4 minutes. 1 naked idiot.
8 million New Yorkers who wanted
nothing to do with this.

New York
humbles everyone.
A FOUR-MINUTE NYC DISASTERPress play. It only gets worse.
A VERY
NORMAL TRIP
(HE PROMISED)
BAD DECISIONS
TRAVEL WELL
A FOUR-MINUTE COMEDY. A LIFETIME OF REGRET.

THE AWFUL LINE

One film. Many stops. All downhill.

Next Stop: Regret
  1. JFK(All hope begins)
  2. Baggage Claim(Already a problem)
  3. Hotel Lockout(Great start)
  4. Pizza Catastrophe(R.I.P. dinner)
  5. Subway Hell(Mental stability optional)
  6. Seagull Incident(Don’t look up)
  7. Monkey Summit(Things get weird)
  8. Times Square Altercation(So much worse)
  9. Airport(Almost over?)Still? Really?
  10. F***ing Airplane(The final boss)

No express service. No refunds. No lessons learned.

YOUR PERFECT
NEW YORK GETAWAY

Same itinerary. Different results.

  1. Completed: Arrive in New YorkSo far, so good!
  2. Disaster: Collect luggageNOPE.
  3. Completed: Acquire legendary New York pizzaIconic!
  4. Disaster: Immediately drop legendary New York pizzaClassic.
  5. Not completed: Visit Statue of LibertyMaybe tomorrow…
  6. Disaster: Receive locally sourced seagull fecesUnforgettable!
  7. Not completed: Reject oxygen maskPriorities.
A fallen slice of New York pizza on the pavement
R.I.P.
A LEGEND(5:47 PM – 5:48 PM)
NYC VISITOR ITINERARY / J. AWFULNo refunds. Obviously.
SCENE 07 / A CHANGE OF PLANS

THE TURNING POINT

Outside the monkey exhibit, at rock bottom, Jake meets two unlikely wise men with a different perspective on life. They give him what he needs to finally combat the city.

Jake, in his striped beanie, meets two unusual strangers outside the monkey exhibit
Sometimes rock bottom
comes with good advice.
Things are looking up. For approximately 11 seconds.

REVIEWS (SOMEHOW)

“A triumph of poor planning.”
The New York Times**Probably
“We have no record of this passenger.”
Southbest Airlines Customer ServiceNo further comment.
— Jake
1/10. Would not recommend.

ENTIRELY UNVERIFIED. EMOTIONALLY ACCURATE.

New York has declined
to comment.NOT ENDORSED
BY ANYONE

EXHIBIT A: A BAD IDEA

Souvenirs nobody asked for. Evidence nobody can deny.

Please don’t touch the evidence.
Manhattan under a golden evening sky
01 / THE CITY HAD POTENTIAL.The visitor did not.
ONE WAY TO REGRET
JFKWHY
PASSENGERJAKE / UNFORTUNATESEATOF HIS PANTS
BOARDING PASSNO RETURN
TO DIGNITY
A fallen slice of New York pizza on the pavement
Gone too soon.
NYC, 5:48 PM
EXHIBIT B

NEW YORK CITY

THANK YOU FOR YOUR VISIT

ONE SLICE
$4.00
ONE HOTEL ROOM
LOCKED
LOCAL HOSPITALITY
$0.00
SELF-RESPECT
VOID
TOTALEVERYTHING
Would not recommend.
AWFULCARDUNLIMITED REGRETVALID UNTIL YOU LEARN YOUR LESSON

ITEMS RECOVERED FROM A TRIP THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN AN EMAIL. PROPERTY OF JAKE. UNFORTUNATELY.

VISIT NEW YORK.
JUST MAYBE
BE MORE PREPARED
THAN JAKE.

SAME CITY.
SAME DREAMS.
DIFFERENT DISASTER.